The Singing Patient (Carla): Blog

Gluten? Whatever it is, it must be awful tasty, because when you take it out, you find yourself thinking "Where's the taste?" And texture? Fuggedaboutit.

I've been eating a gluten-free diet for two and a half years. I'm a lousy cook to begin with- I have literally burned a pot of water, set both the oven and the stove on fire (not on the same day)- I've even ruined jello instant pudding. My disaster-in-the-kitchen track record is bad enough without the restriction of "no wheat"- and not just "no wheat," but nothing allowed with any trace of wheat. Now we've got a "recipe" for a long string of unappetizing meals.

An interview with humorous author and songwriter Carla Ulbrich, a.k.a The Singing Patient, about her new book “How Can You NOT Laugh at a Time Like This: Reclaim Your Health with Humor, Creativity and Grit”

What does the title “How Can You NOT Laugh at a Time Like This” mean to you?

CU: To me, it means when things are really bad and you just can’t take it anymore, you’re either going to cry, strangle somebody, or laugh. And if you’re sick, then you’re too weak to strangle anyone. And laughing is so much more fun than crying.

When you're feeling lousy, it can be hard to do something like get up and ask for - or even look for- help. I have been there. But things can get better.

However, things do not usually get better all by themselves. It takes some work.

But it really can get a whole lot better. It has for me. I was so sick I had a stroke and kidney failure, congestive heart failure, anemia, the whole schmear.

Fast forward to today: I am now married, got my hair back, kept my kidneys (they are functioning normally), got full function of my hand back, and I'm happy.

I work out, teach guitar, wrote a book, I travel, I perform comedy-music shows, I go out and have fun with friends. I can even get an "A" on dance dance revolution. In fact, sometimes I'm doing so well, my lab tests turn up completely normal. You would never know I had lupus if I weren't sitting here typing about it. I'm only at about 90%, but heck that's better than a lot of my so-called healthy friends.

"I just want to be normal."
There are a few times in life that make us say that. For example:

1) being in Junior high school
2) lying around in pain after being diagnosed with something chronic and incurable.

Junior high school aside, I never wanted to be normal. Exceptional, yes. Strange and wacky, definitely. Outstanding, indeed. Memorable, talented, funny, smart, anything but normal. Up until I got sick. Then, suddenly, "normal" started looking pretty good.

Everyone's abuzz about Christina Aguilera screwing up the national anthem at the superbowl. From what I can tell, all she did was grab a phrase from one line and sing it too early in the song. Haven't we *all* done that? All us performers anyway.

That's nothing. I'll tell you how to screw up the Star Spangled Banner.

- Start too high, get to a part where you can't hit the high note, and start over. Repeatedly.
- When you're done, grab your crotch and spit (Roseanne Barr).
- start stuttering and laughing (although in the case of a disabled person, this actually brought out the best in the crowd- but if you're not disabled, it might not work).